My day started crappy. I needed to work an 11-hour shift but as soon as I saw my weight (first thing I do when I wake up) I freaked out. I hated myself so much. I hate myself for the out of control bulimic (I say bulimic because I AM more bulimic than anorexic) pig I am. +0,9 within one day. Unfair. I tried so hard to eat OK and I knew I had eaten a little too much but I never expected to gain so much within a day. Work was nothing special. Some annoyances. With L's help I could eat a little, and just now I was 0,4 lighter. I'm a little calmer now. It just hurt because I didn't feel comfortable at all and Mounir actually asked me if my ass had gotten bigger. It would've stung any day, but it was a little too much on top of feeling so insecure.. I told him about it later. He (said he was) was sorry, but yeah. The truth is the truth and the truth is also that his words will haunt me. Cycling back and at home I had a little breakdown. Everything just got a little too much. Cried my heart out on Numb from Linkin Park. The song just crashed on me.
Luckily L and I started talking about the Yaoi And Yuri (YAY)- Con tomorrow. I'm OK now and mostly excited for it. I need to get up in about 3 hours though.. Oops? I better don't oversleep. We're going as L and Light again because Cosplay is expensive and why the fuck wouldn't we? I decided not to bring my father's camera. No perfect quality pictures, but it's so heavy to carry around. I'll go to Lin's birthday party afterwards. I'll update about it all later!
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